Oh How I Hate LeBron James ...Let Me Count The Ways (I'll stop at 10)

1.He is a Diva Dude  (DD). For those who don't know what that term represents, please refer to the Very Smart Brothas Blog (great blog by the way, much better than this slop you are currently reading).

2.He has a concubine"wifey" that he refuses to marry yet has like 7 babies by and/or with. Now to be fair, the "King" did recently refer to her as his "sidekick". Yes, sidekick....as in Batman and Robin, Whinny the Pooh and Piglet, Wonder Woman and that Whip-thing she is always carrying around. The aforementioned relationships are a far cry from equal partnerships ...not like peanut butter and jelly (those two fellas are a true brotherhood). Anyway, I'm not trying to get all neofeminist on anyone (see Hilary Clinton 08 supporters) but I just find the term to be a tad demeaning for the mother of ones many, many, many...many children."

3. The Decision ...need I say more? that who episode was a dark day for ESPN, it was the greatest display of narcism I've ever seen live on television (beating out Ochocinco shameful display of coonery on dancing with the stars by a nose).

4. His Titles, and i'm not talkin championships. He hasn't won ANYTHING! Why does he get titles such as "king" and "chosen one" and "Witness" (to his greatness i assume). Every time I hear one of these titles I wanna throw my sandal at my TV ala Muntazer al-Zaidi.

5. He is a sore loser (see the Cavaliers 2009 ouster from the eastern conference finals. The Handshake that wasn't). If the Orlando Magic were an ear, sayyy one belonging to Evader Holyfield, Lebron James' poor sportsmanship would be likeeeee (you guest it) Iron Mikes nifty bite maneuver.

6. He's Ugly, and god don't like ugly, so yeah, he may or may not be in that number (Go Saints!).
Honestly, I know momma said never call anyone ugly, but i'm sorry, i just don't understand why he gets so much love for his physical appearance when for all intensive purposes this dude looks like a south Akron Lama (those exist, Google it! ..no they don't). Ok yes, I'm a hater and maybe even a little gay for listing this in the top ten, but as the late great Marlon Wayans  once said of Patrick Ewing "he looks like a Haitian Sasquatch". (Marlon Wayans is still alive for the record, as is Wayans Brothers via TVOne). Look, does  LeBron have designer suits that are impeccably tailored? yep! Does he have Ralph Lauren's personal stylist's stylist? probably. Does he have a personal traveling barber/hype man he keeps in his gym bag? possibly ... But in the end I have only two spiteful words ..Lipstick ..Pig

7. His name is LeBron. seriously?? LeBron?? ..we gotta do better my black people.

8. Seriously, who runs off to another team (Miami) to join two other established stars to in-order to win a championship?  A diva dude does that's who! Would his Airness have done that? f*ck no!! Mike was about winning on his own terms, not piggybacking his way to glory.

9. Oh how i Hate him...

10. Lebron James makes passive aggressive threats via Twitter ...because he is a 12 year old girl.  i.e.“Don’t think for one min that I haven’t been taking mental notes of everyone taking shots at me this summer. And I mean everyone!”
ps...What exactly will be his course of action after vigorously recording these elaborate mental notes? perhaps climb a Miami clock tower during all star weekend? ...no no divas aren't that crazy.